death

yesterday i was browsing through some books at THE OXFORD BOOK STORE and i came across a very interesting poem...this poem written by Gulzar struck me as the most honest way to treat death...this is how it goes...

who knows,
when and where it will strike?
i m more scared of life.
death is okay
it strikes only once.

so then why should we get scared of death? of dying? i think we should rather live life to the fullest.. live life the way we want...

i remember seeing death in front of my eyes... even though it wasnt me that death was taking away i felt as if i was dying... this happened some years back...

my dad was suffering from cancer... we never knew till the last stage... n when we came to know about it, it was too late... nothing could be done... nothing at all... 4 months i saw death hovering at my door... trying to get in... we trying to keep it out... for four months i saw my mother suffering... never ever crying infront of us... never showing her feelings... trying to be strong... trying to inculcate in us the meaning of life..the meaning of death... and then death entered...

the question at that time was why me God? why we? ...why DEATH? ... now i know why DEATH... death to go on to a new life... new karmas... death for KARMIC CIRCLE!!!

the response to my last post

this is the response i got from my muse... this is his urge..


There's a hole in my soul,
And I try to fill it up with things that are pleasing,
that are fine
Yet evening comes lonely and cold
This is life this is pain, this prison of mine

For freedom I crave
From this bondage of life
For happiness I crave
That's going to last for more than this life

On a sleepless night
a Smiling face fills-up my aching soul
The rebel in me gives up this fight
into love, into God; I surrender my soul

hey muse,

thanx for your response... very well put...especially the last verse...

a smiling face fills-up my aching soul.... oh muse! dont ever give up on the smiling face... remember its always there around to help u... always there to take u to the freedom that u yearn... the God that u seek...

the urge

(excerpts and thoughts from my chat conversation with my muse)

muse : angel do u ever feel the urge for something or someone?

me : urge? whats an urge?????????

this was the first thing that came to my mind when he asked me the question... whats an urge... what was he talking about.. what do you think he was talking about? ...

muse : i mean passion for life, u know when u feel the god within...

bingo!! now i knew what he was talking about... the moment he said this i knew the answer... yeah i do feel the urge... i m not sure if everyone feels this... let me share it with you..

theres a hill station called matheran near mumbai... ask any mumbaite and he'll tell you what a beautiful place it is... its one of my favourite hill stations... thats because no vehicles are allowed there.. no traffic.. no pollution...

i have hiked to matheran with my friends many times... especially in the rains.. its so wonderful n beautiful...

the first time i hiked there i came across this place... it is like a patch of grass right next to the railway track... where the mini train passes... on the other side of the track theres a road that leads to matheran.. now when i passed that place for the first time i was pulled by it... the moment i looked down to the valley from this patch of grass i knew the feeling.. the urge... i m sure when people look at the place they dont feel the same urge... when i tell my friends about this feeling they think i have gone insane... yes the place makes me go mad... i just sit there and go on staring into nothingness... just like meditating.. like i have entered a place of my own.. my temple... with no one around... it calls me to it... makes me one with it...yes this is my urge..my passion... my love... it speaks to me.. it sings to me...

oh! come to me my dear
i will take u to the rainbows
to the paradise that u seek
to the heaven that u crave

yes my muse this is my place... my passion... my love... my URGE...

me : muse by the way may i know whats your URGE?

lost time

this poem is dedicated to my muse..who calls me his angel..i wish him very best in his life..thank u for being my best friend..i love u



i close my eyes
and think of the past
the moments the life
so near yet so far
the thoughts of my mind
tries to catch the lost time
oh! how foolish is my mind
for its a race against time
second after second as time flies by
its years after years as my mind flies back
thats when i realise
the impossibility of my thought
cause the moments and the life
are long past gone!!!

my life

My life!
A circle!
A wheel!
A spin!

Where it starts
and where it ends
is a mystery
that makes me sad.

There is a longing
There is a want
But it keeps on changing
which is very confusing.

My life!
A circle!
A wheel!
A spin!

It moves on and on
I don’t know when it will stop.