Today morning at the gym:
Sahil: Why don't you try the settings at 30 kgs?
Me: (Since this guy irritates me all the time, I just smile and refuse to reply)
Sahil: Come on, I can manage 30 myself. Go on, make some muscle.
Me: (My mind goes on abusive mode. I have no patience with this nutcase. I have class in an hours time. I have to finish my workout and run home. I don't want to talk to anyone. Urgh! But then..)
Oh yes, this is all I want in life. Make muscles like a man. Soon Sahil. Soon.
And then I ignore him.
This is one kind of an idiot we all come across at the gym. Someone who enters the gym with a swagger (and these days my sing-along mind always seems to hum 'banno tera swagger laage saxy'), looks around at the people working out, moves his arms and legs like a pendulum, goes and talks to everyone around taking on the role of a gym trainer and does nothing much till he has to leave.
Then we have the musically inclined smart ass kinds. This one thinks he needs good music to work out well. So every time the speakers spew out a new song, he either goes on a 'Oh I am Salman Khan' mode or 'Oh I can't workout on this one' mode. Which only means either he starts working out like a maniac or jumps to the music console and changes the song. And generally it so happens that he doesn't like the changed song. So he changes to another one. And another one. And yes, we have a DJ in the house who doesn't know what kind of music he wants to play.
But then I can grind my teeth and bear these kinds till the next type of idiot crops up. In struts Manish and as soon as I see him I want to grab the TV remote and start watching Animal Planet or anything else but a sports channel. This is because he is a serious sports fanatic. He loves to watch a sport while working out. Not a problem you say, till I tell you what these kinds do.
Imagine a normal, early morning scenario when I am sweating it out on the crosstrainer. I am either watching a tennis match and enjoying myself or watching a football match and trying to understand why people go crazy while watching this game. 10 minutes down and I see Mr. Manish standing next to my machine. A newbie at the gym would think that he simply wants to use the machine. But I know better. All he wants to do is watch every move of the players and scream in elation or dejection.
And all I want to do is scream, "Dude! Stop breathing down my neck. Messi won't score if you jump in and cheer for him."
Now before the meninists feel like strangling me, let me conclude with the funniest kind I've seen. In pops Nisha. And well, she is always in a hurry. She'll enter the room, throw her bag under the table (I guess she doesn't know there are lockers in the other room) and jumps onto the treadmill. No big deal here till the crowd starts pouring in and the crosstrainer is not available for her. This is the time she starts cribbing and crying till someone just let's her get onto one. 10 minutes down and she sees someone get off the exercise cycle. So she'll stop her workout midway, and 'book' the cycle by throwing her napkin over the handle. Dare anyone try to use the machine now! Yes yes, she is the only one whose time is so important and we are but minions with nothing much to do.
I can definitely go on and on categorizing idiots but then I'd have to put myself into one too. So let me conclude by mentioning that I do not mind any of you being one, if you are hot and sexy. So if you're an eye candy, you are welcome to being an idiot.
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